Couples in therapy are most successful when the expectation for change is set during the first couples therapy session.   During our therapy sessions I emphasize that change requires making small choices and decisions everyday and that working in-between sessions is where the healing continues to takes place.   A conscious relationship is one in which we think about how to make changes, the changes we are willing to make, and making a commitment over time.  Think about it … if your goal is to make lasting change in your marriage or relationship, one ‘push-up’ a day is better than trying to do 365 ‘push-ups’ in one day!  Or similarly, one change a day is more reasonable and realistic than setting a goal to make changes all at once.