When love is tested, some couples break apart - others find a way to transform.
This is the story of a couple I worked with who chose the second path. Their journey offers a glimpse into how Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) can help partners work through deep conflict, reconnect emotionally, and create a more secure and resilient bond.
The Breaking Point
They came to me after an escalating argument led to a short separation. Both partners were hurt, angry, and unsure how to move forward.
Like many couples in conflict, their fights weren’t really about the surface issues - they were about what those issues represented. Beneath the criticism and defensiveness were fears of being unseen, unloved, or abandoned.
But in the heat of the moment, it was almost impossible for them to slow down enough to see those deeper emotions - let alone share them with each other.
Why They Chose Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy
They had already tried traditional couples therapy and found it helpful, but there was a recurring pattern: in the middle of emotionally charged conversations, they would still default to old habits.
That’s when we discussed adding KAP to their work. With the right guidance, ketamine can create a state of lowered emotional defenses, increased openness, and access to underlying feelings that are harder to reach in everyday consciousness.
We designed a 6–8 dose sublingual ketamine series to be done alongside couples therapy sessions, with a strong focus on integration.
The Structure of Their KAP Series
1. Preparation
Before any ketamine session, we spent time setting intentions and identifying emotional “hot spots” they wanted to understand.
For example:
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“I want to explore why I shut down when I feel criticized.”
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“I want to connect with the love I still feel beneath the hurt.”
This preparation laid the groundwork for making the most of the altered state.
2. The Ketamine Sessions
Over the course of 6–8 sessions, we alternated between two types of experiences:
Relational Work on the Self - Individual Journeys
In these sessions, each partner took a therapeutic dose of ketamine and turned inward, often with eyeshades and music. Without the pull of the other’s presence, they could:
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Meet younger, wounded parts of themselves with compassion
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See their own role in conflict more clearly, without shame
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Reconnect with forgotten moments of tenderness toward their partner
These journeys gave them the clarity and self-awareness to bring a more grounded version of themselves back into the relationship.
Work on the Space Between -Shared Psycholytic Journeys
In the lower-dose, non-dissociative sessions, they journeyed together - eyes open, able to speak and interact. The gentle effect of the ketamine softened their defenses, allowing them to stay connected while talking about things that once felt unsafe to say.
In these shared sessions, something remarkable happened:
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Their voices softened, even during vulnerable disclosures
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They reached for each other’s hand without prompting
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Laughter and tears could exist in the same breath
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They were able to share hopes and fears without the usual guardrails of self-protection
These lighter journeys became spaces where love, empathy, and curiosity replaced the cycle of attack and withdraw.
3. Integration
After each session, whether individual or shared, we held integration-focused therapy. This is where the insights became action:
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Practicing slowing down emotional reactivity during difficult conversations
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Naming vulnerable truths before frustration could take over
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Recognizing early signs of escalation and choosing repair over rupture
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Rebuilding trust through consistent, caring gestures
The Results
By the end of the series, the couple described feeling “more on the same team” than they had in years. Arguments still happened - because no relationship is free of conflict - but they now had tools to turn conflict into connection rather than distance.
They had learned a deeper truth: when each person does their own inner work and the couple tends to the space between them, intimacy can grow even in the wake of rupture.
Why This Matters for Couples in Conflict
Ketamine isn’t a magic wand. It won’t “fix” a relationship without effort, commitment, and ongoing communication. But in the right context - with professional support, preparation, and integration - it can open doors to healing that may have felt locked for years.
If you and your partner are feeling stuck in painful patterns, this kind of work can help you reconnect with the reasons you chose each other in the first place.
Curious about what KAP for couples could look like for you?
I offer free consultations to explore whether this approach might be a good fit.