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Strengthening Bonds and Nurturing Connections: The Art of Building Meaningful Relationships
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
In today's fast-paced world, the importance of strong bonds and genuine connections cannot be overstated. Our relationships with family, friends, and partners offer support, belonging, and fulfillment. Individual, couples, marital and family therapy helps to build these connections and enrich our lives.
Meaningful Connections: Quality Over Quantity
In a digital era, it's vital to prioritize quality over quantity in our family and friendship connections. Genuine interactions foster deeper relationships. By engaging in sincere conversations, practicing active listening, and showing empathy, we can transform casual acquaintances into trusted friends.
Communication: Key to Solid Bonds
Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy couples and marital relationship. Open and clear dialogue between partners nurtures trust, prevents misunderstandings, and paves the way for deeper connections. Remember, communication involves both speaking and truly listening.
Shared Experiences: Building Memories Together
Some of the strongest bonds stem...
moreMarried To, or Dating, A 'Jokester'?
Dr Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
One of the qualities that many women look for in a potential romantic partner is the ability to laugh. It’s a great thing when someone can laugh at themselves and make some truly funny jokes to ensure that anyone around them will also be laughing.
However, there can be a problem if a guy is so into being funny that it’s like he never experiences a serious moment. He can be hot, sexy and everything else that you would ever want in a guy, but if all he does is crack jokes, how can you be certain of how he really feels about you?
First of all, decide if he really does have all of the qualities that you require in the ideal man for you. If he’s easy on the eyes, that’s certainly a factor that counts near the top of the list.
How does he treat you?
Does he take you to nice places on dates?
Does he remember important days such as your birthday?
Is he someone you can depend upon if you need comfort?
All of those things also matter.
Now, let’s look at that joking thing.
Does he...
moreMotivation
Dr Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying - Tony Robbins
Ready to take the first step towards positive change and growth? Schedule a counseling session now with Dr. Corinne Scholtz, and begin your journey towards a happier, healthier life.
moreBody Language and How It Effects You And Your Relationships!
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
Body Language Secrets You Should Know!
Even when you don’t say a word, other people can still learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling. How do other people do this? By studying your body language. The term body language refers to the messages you send out with your body gestures and facial expressions. Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people (especially our spouse, family, and friends) are communicated through the words we speak. The rest of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.
During your entire life you have been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions. When you were an infant, before you learned to speak, people were peering into your little baby face, looking at your gestures, and listening to your little cries and gurgles, trying to decipher what kind of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say. And you have...
moreA Little Patience Goes a Long Way
Dr Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
We all know that relationships can be difficult. One of the best methods we have for making every relationship less stressful and more enjoyable is to show a little patience. Patience has been defined as what we lack for the driver in front of us and demand from the driver behind us.
In truth, patience is nothing more than time.
Time before we say something: Think of a time when someone was not patient with you when you needed them to be. Think of how you felt. Think of how deeply you might have been hurt. The next time you find yourself losing patience with another, take a moment to remind yourself of how you felt when someone had no patience with you.
Time before moaning and groaning: Patience takes time, but no more time than the showing of anger; of stomping or yelling or whining or complaining. A little patience can often resolve a conflict that a loss of patience will only escalate.
Time to just let things run their course: Arnold H. Glasow said, The key to...
Understanding & Managing Your Emotional Triggers
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
We are all human. We all come from somewhere. Our pasts are a historical record of wonderful and painful moments that have happened to us. We all come wired with soundtracks from the past. And even the healthiest among us, are not immune from being triggered by other people.
Relationships can be a harmonious adventure or a disaster just waiting to happen. Two people sharing different perspectives, lifestyles, and experiences can be a breeding ground for emotional triggers. And it takes a lot of work and commitment to manage our reactions to the people we love, strangers we meet, and even ourselves. It takes practice, emotional intelligence, and a lot of self-awareness.
We are built for connection. To love and be loved. To feel seen and be heard. To feel supported and understood. We aim to find a partnership where we can feel safe, secure, and protected.
The human body has survival instincts that when threatened, engage in a fight, flight, or freeze response. This protects us when there is danger. It helps us manage stressful situations until the threat is...
moreThe Lost Art of Listening to Our Partners
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
How many times have you found your attention wandering when listening to your husband or wife?
How many times have you nodded your head in understanding even though you may have missed the main point?
There is nothing wrong or irregular in this behavior. It happens to all of us, all the time. We may hear what another person is saying but unless we listen we can't comprehend what he or she is saying!
How do we learn to listen in our most important relationships? Listening can 'make or break' the quality of connection in our marriage and intimate relationships.
The first thing is to control your thoughts. You cannot be a good listener if you allow your thoughts to wander. This happens most often when some word or statement made by the speaker triggers your memory, and you drift off. Once you are aware you are drifting, try to pull your thoughts back, and refocus. This is not easy because the mind is a powerhouse!
How do you train your mind to focus to your partner? Practice! Try listening to something that...
moreWhy Is Love Important?
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
Why Is Love Important?
So often we spend most of our time taking care of our physical needs. We make sure our bodies are fed, cleaned, clothed, exercised and rested. We also make sure intellectual stimulation and entertainment is a priority. Yet we also overlook the most important need -- love.
Of course, as a society, love is not overlooked. Popular media constantly places great emphasis on what we need to do and how we should look to attract "love". But being loved is not as powerful an emotional need as that desire to love someone else. The need to love and care for others is built into us biologically.
This need is what allows parents to forgo sleep, food, and sanity while raising their children. This need is what allows people to put themselves at risk to save others from natural disasters and human threats. This need is what makes human society work on both a small and a large scale. Loving others allows us to put the needs and desires of others before our own.
In our intimate relationships, marriages, friendships with family and...
moreBut I didn't mean that!
Dr. Corinne Scholtz
But I Didn’t Mean That!
Communication is the key to any relationship. With bad communication, problems crop up at unexpected places. This is a classical case. Sometimes, we say things we don’t mean without even realizing it. We continue to go about our day, unaware of the fact that we hurt someone's feelings. It is important to let someone know when they hurt your feelings with their words. They will learn your sensitivities, and be able to explain what they actually meant.
What you say can make a big difference to your relationship. How will the listener know what you mean? The listener only picks up your words and makes interpretations. Choosing the right words while communicating is important. If you know about your partner's sensitivities about a subject, you have to be very careful while talking even in jest. Your tone has to be perfect and you have to be careful while speaking. You never know when you will hurt your partner's feelings. This communication care is very important in keeping a healthy...
moreAre you in love, or, obsessed?
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
Are You In Love, Or , Obsessed?
It should be obvious that there are basic differences between being in love or just obsessed. Sadly, that’s not always the case. Many people find themselves in relationships that they feel are loving when, in reality, it’s an unhealthy obsession.
Even when these people are faced with the facts, they often refuse to admit that they’re more obsessed than in love. In fact, you may be one of those people who is obsessed, rather than in love. So if you haven’t gone completely round the bend, following are some signs that you may be obsessed rather than in love:
You flake on responsibilities because of a chance that you’ll have of running into the object of your obsession. This includes missing work, school or other important appointments because they said they MIGHT call you, or there’s the off chance that if you stay in a certain location long enough, they’ll come in. When you miss commitments just because of your obsession, you’re only going to be...
moreA Great Communication Technique For Couples! (Copy)
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
A Good Communication Technique To Try For Couples
Human beings are social beings and we interact with people every day of our life. Often, our happiness depends a great deal on how the interactions with each person turn out. This is especially true of those whom we care about e.g. in close friendships as well as in marriage. However, because each personality we deal with is unique and presents its own challenges, managing the myriad of relationships requires us to consciously observe the process and impact of our interactions so that we continue to gain knowledge, understanding and experience in developing relationships in a positive way.
I have realized that to have good management of relationships, we need to be assertive and honest in sharing our thoughts, feelings and concerns. However, this needs to be done in a way that does not provoke the other party, but is instead respectful and encourages both parties to listen to each other....
moreA Great Communication Technique For Couples!
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
A Good Communication Technique To Try For Couples
Human beings are social beings and we interact with people every day of our life. Often, our happiness depends a great deal on how the interactions with each person turn out. This is especially true of those whom we care about e.g. in close friendships as well as in marriage. However, because each personality we deal with is unique and presents its own challenges, managing the myriad of relationships requires us to consciously observe the process and impact of our interactions so that we continue to gain knowledge, understanding and experience in developing relationships in a positive way.
I have realized that to have good management of relationships, we need to be assertive and honest in sharing our thoughts, feelings and concerns. However, this needs to be done in a way that does not provoke the other party, but is instead respectful and encourages both parties to listen to each other....
more10 Tips For A Successful Relationship
Dr. Corinne Scholtz
10 Tips For a Successful Relationship from a couples counselor!
What's the key to a successful relationship? Some say that truly is the “million-dollar” question. Sometimes it's just the simple things that we easily forget or think are unimportant that hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance. These tips are directly related to couples counseling sessions and reflect real life solutions for many of the couples I've worked with in therapy.
- Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least a couple of days a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.
- You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.
- Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to...
7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Starting Today
Dr. Corinne Scholtz, LMFT
Great relationships don’t just happen, they require work from both ends. Here are some tips to get started based on years of counseling with individuals and couples! Even one person taking steps to change will affect the relationship dynamic. Want to work together to improve your relationship? Contact us for a free consultation to see how we can best help you flourish in 2023.
1. Take Responsibility for Yourself. This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs and treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment.
2. Kindness, Compassion, Acceptance. Treat others the way you want to be treated. We all yearn to be treated lovingly with kindness. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating others with kindness brings...
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