Every situation we find ourselves in is a mirror - revealing how we relate to ourselves when life gets loud. In those moments, toxic positivity can sneak in: “Just be grateful,” “look on the bright side,” “you’re fine.” It sounds helpful, but it often pushes our real experience underground.

Here’s a gentler approach: compassion over positivity.

Sometimes our feelings don’t make sense. They rise like a wave without a clear cause. Healing begins when we let them exist - without rushing to explain, fix, or force a smile.

Before You Begin (10 seconds)

• Choose a position that feels supported (feet on floor or lying down).

• Soften your jaw and shoulders. No need to try hard.

Step 1: Orient (30 seconds)

Gently look around the room. Name 3 things you see, 2 things you hear, 1 sensation in your body. This tells your system, “I’m here; I'm safe enough to feel.”

Step 2: Place & Pace (30 seconds)

Put a hand where you notice the feeling most (chest, belly, throat). Breathe a little slower than usual: in for 4, out for 6. do 4 rounds.

Step 3: What “being with a feeling” actually means (60-120 seconds)

• Notice: “Something’s here.” Sense it in your body (tight chest, heavy eyes, buzzing energy).

• Name (lightly): “This feels like sadness/anxiety/anger/numbness.” Naming is optional - accuracy isn’t the goal; presence is.

• Allow: Give it 60–120 seconds of friendly attention, like keeping company with a friend. No stories. No self-criticism. Just breath and space.

• Support: Offer a kind phrase: “This is hard, and I’m here.” Place a hand where you feel it. Soften your jaw/shoulders.

• Choose: After the wave passes, ask: “What’s the kindest next step?” (sip water, take air, send a text, rest, move).

When we practice this, emotions move through instead of getting stuck. Over time, that builds self-trust and resilience - the kind that lasts longer than “good vibes only.”

Step 4: Closing (15 seconds)

Place a hand on heart or cheek and say: “Thank you for letting me know how you’re doing.” Return to your day at your own pace.

Optional Journal Prompts

• What changed (even slightly) after I practiced?

• What did my inner voice sound like - kind, neutral, or critical?

• What tiny kindness felt most regulating?

Remember: You don’t need a perfect explanation to deserve care. Presence and compassion create the conditions for emotions to move through - no forced positivity required.

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