Toxic dynamics don’t always mean a relationship is beyond repair. When both people are willing to do the inner and relational work, transformation is possible. Here’s how each of the couples we met last week began to shift toward healing:

Miss last week's blog? Read the full blog post here.

💛 Jenna & Luis: Rebuilding Safety Through Accountability

Before: Jenna felt constantly blamed and emotionally invalidated by Luis, who minimized her feelings and twisted conversations to make her feel at fault.

The Shift: In couples therapy, Luis learned about defensive patterns and emotional avoidance rooted in his own upbringing, where vulnerability was seen as weakness. Through individual therapy, he began taking ownership of how he dismissed Jenna’s emotions. Jenna worked on rebuilding her internal boundaries and self-trust.

What Helped:

• Naming the cycle (criticism ➡ defensiveness ➡ withdrawal)

• Learning non-defensive communication tools

• Practicing emotional validation and repair

• Individual therapy to heal attachment wounds

Outcome: With time, Luis learned to pause before reacting, and Jenna became more assertive in her truth. They no longer saw each other as the enemy but as allies against the pattern.

🔁 Marcus & Erin: Finding Stability Through Nervous System Work

Before: Their relationship was a rollercoaster of highs and lows, full of passionate reconnections followed by explosive arguments and silent treatments.

The Shift: Therapy revealed that both Marcus and Erin were stuck in a fight-or-flight pattern with one another. They began learning about their nervous systems, attachment styles, and how reactivity was driving the chaos.

What Helped:

• Understanding dysregulation

• Daily micro-practices for grounding and co-regulation

• Learning rupture and repair skills in real time

• Setting boundaries around “breakup threats”

Outcome: They began to recognize triggers before they escalated, and could stay present through conflict. The relationship went from chaotic to conscious - with space for disagreement and reconnection without crisis.

🧊 Danielle & Chris: Releasing Control and Rebuilding Trust

Before: Chris controlled nearly every part of Danielle’s life - from finances to friendships - under the guise of protection. Danielle felt increasingly small and isolated.

The Shift: Through therapy (individual and then joint), Chris began to confront the fear and trauma beneath his control - a childhood where he felt powerless and unseen. Danielle explored how her fawning response had roots in people-pleasing and fear of conflict.

What Helped:

• Chris learning to sit with discomfort and let go of control

• Danielle rebuilding her voice, values, and independence

• Clear boundaries around autonomy and respect

• Ongoing couples therapy for accountability and safety

Outcome: Chris no longer monitored Danielle’s movements or decisions, and Danielle began reconnecting with her support system. The dynamic shifted from control to collaboration.

A Note of Hope

Not all relationships will - or should - continue. But for those where love still lives under the pain, healing is possible. It requires courage, accountability, and often a mix of individual therapy and couples work.

For some clients, ketamine-assisted therapy offers the emotional flexibility and inner insight needed to access deeper healing and see themselves (and their relationships) more clearly.

Next week, we’ll explore a unique approach that blends neuroscience, emotional healing, and deep connection: what ketamine-assisted therapy can look like for couples. You’ll learn how this process can help partners break out of old patterns, reconnect on a deeper level, and create lasting change together.

Stay tuned - this is a conversation you won’t want to miss. 💙

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