What to Do When You’re Triggered in a Relationship

Understanding the root of your reactions—and how to respond with more clarity and compassion.

We’ve all had those moments where something seemingly small—a look, a tone of voice, a comment—sets off a wave of emotional intensity. Before you know it, your heart is racing, your chest tightens, and you're either lashing out, shutting down, or questioning everything about the relationship.

That’s a trigger.

But here’s what’s important to understand:

Being triggered doesn’t mean you’re too...

What Is Gaslighting, and Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Gaslighting is a subtle yet deeply painful form of emotional manipulation. It causes you to doubt your memories, perception, or instincts—making you feel confused, unsteady, and unsure of what’s real.

It’s often not loud or aggressive. It can sound like:

• “You’re imagining things.”

• “That never happened.”

• “You always make a big deal out of nothing.”

• “You’re too sensitive.”

When someone repeatedly invalidates your experience like...

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that feels intense, confusing, or hard to walk away from—even when part of you knows it isn’t healthy?

This might be a sign of a trauma bond—an emotional connection that forms when a relationship mirrors patterns from our past, especially those rooted in early childhood or formative experiences. These bonds aren’t formed through love alone; they’re shaped by emotional inconsistency, fear, and unmet needs.

They feel familiar, even when they hurt. And that familiarity can keep us attached, even...

Have you ever wondered why you or your partner react so differently to stress, conflict, or uncertainty?

Maybe one of you tends to spiral into anxious thoughts, while the other seems to shut down or power through without pausing to feel. This dance—this mismatch—can feel confusing and frustrating, especially when it repeats over and over.

There’s a fascinating explanation that lies in our biology.

Researchers often refer to variations in the COMT gene as the Worrier and Warrior gene. It affects how we process dopamine, the brain’s...

Peace isn’t just a fleeting feeling or something we stumble into when everything is perfect. It’s not reserved for meditation cushions or quiet Sundays. Peace is a practice—a way of relating to yourself, your body, and others, especially during difficult moments.

In my therapy work, I often guide clients toward understanding how their nervous systems, emotions, and relationships are deeply intertwined. One powerful truth that continues to surface is this: when we begin to cultivate peace within ourselves, it ripples outward—transforming the way we connect with those...

You’ve read the books.

You’ve journaled.

You’ve meditated, reflected, maybe even sat in some really hard therapy sessions.

So why does it still feel like you’re running into the same internal wall?

If that question has echoed in your mind lately, you’re not alone. Many people who are committed to healing eventually come to this uncomfortable moment:

“I’ve worked so hard on myself… so why do I still feel stuck?”

Here’s what I want you to know:

...

This Valentine’s Day, go beyond chocolates and flowers—give each other the gift of understanding, connection, and lasting intimacy.

In this special 90-minute couples session, you and your partner will explore how different “parts” of you show up in your relationship—some that protect, some that seek closeness, and some that carry past wounds. This IFS-informed approach (inspired by No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz) offers a new way to understand each other with curiosity and compassion.

💖...

Your nervous system is constantly responding to the world around you—sometimes in ways you don’t even realize. If you often feel anxious, overwhelmed, or emotionally shut down, it may be a sign of nervous system dysregulation. The good news? You can begin to shift toward regulation with intentional practices that help your body feel safe, grounded, and present.

Signs of a Dysregulated Nervous System

🔹 Chronic anxiety, panic, or racing thoughts

🔹 Trouble relaxing, feeling restless or on edge

🔹...

Connection is the lifeblood of any healthy relationship. It’s what helps us feel seen, understood, and supported by those we care about most. But fostering connection isn’t always easy, especially when emotions run high or when stress and misunderstandings creep in.

The good news? There are practical steps you can take to create a deeper sense of connection with your partner or loved ones. Below, we’ll explore strategies to strengthen your bond, even in challenging moments.

1. Pause and Breathe

When emotions start to escalate, your body’s...

Life often feels like a series of unexpected twists and turns. A relationship falters, our health becomes uncertain, or financial struggles weigh us down. These moments can leave us feeling stuck, questioning our path, and searching for answers.

But here’s the truth: adversity, while painful, is also a powerful opportunity for growth. In therapy—whether with couples or individuals—I’ve witnessed how challenges can serve as the starting point for profound transformation. The key lies in how we choose to respond.

The Power of Choice

Adversity doesn’t define...